C&C* Astrology Factory 10-2-13

Frivolity Horoscopes

C&C Astrology* Factory

(Correlation & Causation)

When god, free will, and happenstance are busy, they call me: John Swamini**


* Lies lies everywhere

** Does not deserve to get chopped.


Aries:  Someone in your life needs help. Surprise! It’s you. Go get some help.


Taurus: If you have recently been downgraded at work, give yourself some downtime downtown.


Gemini: You are radiating such light today; everyone has to look at you through a paper plate.


Cancer: If you are feeling like you need to drop everything and run away, just think of the fix you will find yourself in once you come to a stop.


Leo: If you are going to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way home in the woods then make sure they are laced with arsenic.


Virgo: I do not recommend focusing your attention like a laser… I have seen some pretty big ass lasers in my life.


Libra: As it adds a touch of class and refinement to your personality, everyone should use more golf terms in your day-to-day conversation. I recommend no less than four.


Scorpio: Ideally, you want to be certain. Certainly you want to be ideal.


Sagittarius: Your brain is all over the place now… that’s gang violence for ya.


Capricorn: You might have to give up a few things today and while you are at it, let’s sacrifice the cranky pants attitude about it. Put your head down and deal with it.


Aquarius: You can play it fast and loose or safe and sound but either way, try to keep the perspective that you are just playing.


Pisces:  Playing hard to get means that you will weed out people who are looking for easy.

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