Olympia Lowlife 9-18-13

Frivolity Blotter

Date/Time: 7/31/2013, 2038 Hours

Location: 400 Block 4th Ave., Olympia

Incident: Just Punchin’ Your Credit Card

Rumor has it that dating is hard. Moreover, the unwritten rules of courtship seem to be changing faster than i-Phones, so even the most innocent of gestures can wind up being misinterpreted and resented. So when a man met a woman in downtown Olympia and then offered to buy her dinner, an offer which she graciously accepted, he must have felt as if it was going to be a butter-side-up kind of day. Unfortunately for the man of uncommon chivalry, the world around him was unrelenting in its resolve to ruin romance.

The hungry man and woman first went for some world famous hotdogs from a well-known street vendor. Upon their arrival however, they were disappointed to find that the tube-steak shack was a cash-only joint, and they were depending on the good ol’ American form of payment, a credit card.

Undeterred and resilient in their quest for nourishment and companionship, the man and woman made their way down 4th Avenue to The Voyeur restaurant. As the dinner-daters were about to make their entrance into The Voyeur, a woman on the street lunged toward the man and punched him in his right eye before swiping his credit card and absconding down the street back toward the hotdog vendor.

When the thief reached the hotdog stand, she boasted to the employee on duty, “I just punched that dude and took his credit card.” Unimpressed the employee took the card from the woman and gave it to the OPD officer who first arrived at the scene.

As it turned out, the stolen debit card call was the third incident of the day for the would-be thief and the OPD.  According to the police report, “The first contact with (suspect) occurred at (Starbucks) on Capitol Way, where she entered the premises, demanded water and then (was) verbally abusive to the employees. (She) then walked outside and ripped up a cardboard sign.”  The woman was contacted by the OPD at Sylvester Park and served a Trespass citation from that business.

“The second contact with (suspect) occurred when she called 911 and claimed that she had been kidnapped and that there was an 8-year old girl in the vehicle that had also been abducted. When (OPD) responded to the scene, (she) immediately left, stating that she was pregnant and needed some ice cream.”

After being returned his credit card, the victim of the theft and punch to the eye refused to press charges. His assailant was released and told to “depart the area.” There was no update on the state of the newly forged union.

Date/Time: 7/24/2013

Location: 1200 Block Fern St. SW, Olympia

Incident: Dog Poop and Unintended Consequences

A woman who took her dog for a walk and forgot to bring a doo-doo bag was delivered some unexpected apartment complex vigilante justice.

When the woman’s dog did its business and the woman realized she did not have a bag to properly pick and dispose of the waste, she chose to simply walk away. Her act was not unnoticed though and a nearby man, who suffers from a traumatic brain injury and was in a wheel chair, asked the woman, “Are you going to pick that up?” The woman replied, “Nope,” and began to walk away as the man replied with an obligatory, “F— You.”

As she was walking away, the woman saw a friend of hers across the street and ambled over for a visit. As the two women were having a conversation on the sidewalk, the man in the wheelchair approached and said, “he was going to do something to the dog.”  The woman replied that, “He better not do anything,” to her dog. At that point the man unceremoniously stood up and spat in the woman’s face. Shocked by the bodily fluid assault, the woman turned to look at her friend, and as she did so, she claimed that the man grabbed her by the hair and the two fell to the ground in the ensuing struggle.

Nearby neighbors who witnessed the scrum “came to (her) aid and they got the man off of her.” One neighbor helped the man back into his wheelchair and assisted him back to his apartment in order to remove him from an increasingly hostile situation.

When an OPD officer spoke with the alleged attacker at his home the man had difficulty explaining the   incident in a logical sequence or chronological order. The man did explain to the OPD that, “He does not know the female and said he just wanted (the woman) to pick up the poop and was not trying to hurt anyone.” He insisted that the woman became very agitated with him and began swinging her arms in his direction which made him feel threatened. The man claimed to have even offered the woman a bag, explaining that he would have cleaned up the mess himself but it was difficult with his wheelchair.

No charges were filed over the incident, as the OPD officer in charge interviewing the man explained, “I feel that his mental disability prevented him from handling this situation in an appropriate manner and led to the unfortunate incident.”


Comments are closed