Olympia Lowlife 7-10-13

Frivolity Blotter

Date/Time: 6/10/13, 16:48 Hours

Location: 5th Ave. and Chestnut St., Olympia

Incident: Parked in a “Fire” Zone


It is a well-known fact of life in Olympia that parking downtown can be a bit of a drag. First there is the ever-flowing one way traffic down congested skinny streets. Then there is the lack of free parking due to the City of Olympia’s decision to abolish all but the most ninja of free spaces. And we won’t even get in to the failed, futuristic, solar powered parking meters that were installed on the shady side of the street. But for all of those parking-pet-peeves, it was one unforeseen encounter that nearly cooked one dutiful husband’s goose.

While picking up his wife from work at City Hall, the chauffer husband parked his silver BMW on the street outside and waited. It should be noted that the vehicle was legally parked in a designated parking space. As the man waited, he noticed what sounded like the lid to his gas tank opening. When the car owner investigated the sound, he saw a “vagrant” looking man hunched over his opened gas tank hatch. As the car owner looked closer, he could see that the unknown man was attempting to light what looked like a firecracker and throw it down the gas tank.

According to his personal statement in the police report, the BMW owner approached the man who was trying to light his car on fire and asked, “What in the hell are you doing?” He received no answer, but the pyro-maniac did pull out a knife and began waving it at the car owner in a threatening manner. According to eye-witness accounts, the driver replied to the threat by stating that he was in no way afraid of a knife, at which point the knife wielding/failed pyro fled down the street and around the corner.

Olympia Police made it to the scene (a.k.a. outside their offices), just in time to see the suspect, still holding his knife, flee the scene. After a short chase the man was apprehended by the OPD. During the chase and apprehension, the suspect attempted to jettison a lighter that he had in his possession. The lighter was collected as evidence.

After placing the man under arrest for Unlawful Display of a Weapon, it was discovered that he had been arrested one day earlier for Pedestrian Interference. His knife had been confiscated during the booking process, but was returned upon his release. Although the suspect was making attempts to speak throughout the encounter, according to the police report, the only audible words were, “No guilty.” No other damages were reported, although, hopefully the BMW owner remembered to feed his meter during the fracas, for fear of unfair Meter Maid retribution.◙

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