Fortnightly Single: Roy and Sunny!
In the time it took us to figure out that Meg didn’t want to go on a date, then to figure out that she did after all, then to try to schedule that date… (don’t touch that dial, folks – we are bound and determined to take Meg on a date!) …well, for the two issues that Roy’s profile ran, many ladies threw their proverbial hats into the ring.
This reporter felt like an admissions officer at an ultra-competitive graduate program located in a place with immaculate white-sand beaches and a killer exchange rate – so many smart, funny, beautiful, talented, self-assured women in one inbox! If it were up to us, every single (no pun intended) one of them would get to go on the best date ever and fall in love and live happily ever after. We should be so lucky to even get to feature a few of them as Fortnightly Singles themselves (hint, hint).
But Roy is only allowed to choose one, alas. So he picked Sunny.
“She seems to have a clear idea of herself,” he explained. “She said in the email that she’s shy, but she definitely seems sweet and engaging.”
Roy specifically requested that his date take place at Trinacria Ristorante in downtown Olympia. In an email exchange with OP&L before we’d even published his profile, he said, “It seems that Trinacria Ristorante is a favorite among tasteful Olympians, and sounds like a great atmosphere. … From what I read, the owner/chef is charming and gracious.”
Indeed. We here at OP&L, shameless arbiters of taste for all of Olympia, can say without reservation that this is true. (Anyone else should be sure to get a reservation, though.)
So Roy, Sunny and two reporters gathered at Trinacria on St. Patrick’s Day. This reporter was already suffering mild disorientation from the five pounds of corned beef that… well, that’s a story for another time. Suffice to say, if the narrative gets disjointed at any point, we’ll have to assume it was worth it.
We settle into a cozy table next to the kitchen in a steamy nook where we can smell everything cooking and hear the rattle of pots and pans.
We separate the daters for a brief Q&A.
Although it was Roy’s roommates who suggested that he be the Fortnightly Single, and who wrote his profile, he was definitely on board from the beginning.
“I’m always up for a new experience,” he said.
In her email, Sunny offered that he could come visit her work to research her (“if you want to know more about me, ask my co-workers at Traditions”). So he did.
“I asked about her and they said she was really nice.”
For Sunny’s part, she saw Roy’s profile in the second issue and assumed it was already too late.
“I just read it. I thought it was pretty cool. His roommates made him sound humble. And he’s really cute.”
So she decided to write in.
“I really like him. I just got a feeling. I did it spontaneously.”
Later she heard about his visit from her coworkers.
“They laughed, but they also encouraged me.”
Neither of them has dated much lately. Roy says he hasn’t been out much at all since he moved to Olympia from Aberdeen a year and a half ago.
“I’ve lived five or six places in three different countries. I got tired of starting over all the time. So I guess this time I just didn’t start over.”
Sunny has been too busy to date, having worked three jobs until she recently left one of them. She’s saving to go back to school to study naturopathy, and may go back as soon as this fall.
The waitress suggests a wine selection based on Roy’s specifications – dry, red – and brings out the bottle.
“Yes, yes… a very good year,” Roy jokes. He inspects the label. “Two-thousand ten. Yes.”
He fills Sunny’s glass. “What do they say in Italy?”
“Buon appetito,” she replies unhesitatingly. “So what made you do this?”
“I’ve been reclusive since I moved here,” he says. He talks about living in Aberdeen with his grandfather for a year, until his grandfather passed away.
“My grandparents smoked and drank, they’d go out and party,” Sunny recalls. “My grandmother had this crazy beehive hairdo. She tried to get me to do it once. It’s really poofy.”
They’ve ordered appetizers already (a siciliano and a caprese), and the time has come to decide on entrees. Sunny goes for the gnocchi with pomodoro, and Roy orders the off-menu special: spinach and mozzarella ravioli. The reporters choose the broccoli penne and more wine.
“I don’t really eat meat,” says Sunny, gesturing at the siciliano with its neatly stacked coppa.
“Did you grow up not eating meat?”
“No, that’s all we ate. Hamburger. Have you ever had hamburger pie?”
(For those of you who don’t know what this is, count yourselves lucky. As previously mentioned, this reporter happily overdoses on beef at least once a year, but… ewww! Not in pie form!)
At this point, Roy busts out with the most adorable thing the FNS has ever seen: a homemade corsage, which he proceeds to pin onto Sunny’s dress.
“Just tell me if I stab you,” he jokes.
Sunny asks what he’s been up to musically lately. (In his profile, his roommates stated that he had recently released an album, and that he plays house shows. Sunny admitted to us that she’s never seen him play.)
“I do a lot of song writing in the winter,” he says. “Most of my songs are about an alter ego hobo ladies’ man.”
She lives in a sailboat by the marina. “One time I dressed up and toured a fancy boat as a potential buyer. I drank champagne and stayed the night on the boat. Nobody does that.”
Sunny has a neurotic cat that tore out her hair for a while. The cat loves the boat.
Both of them have lived in Eastern Washington, and they agree that’s a very different thing from “Central” Washington. Most of us here on the Westside don’t distinguish properly — we just think west versus east, but there’s more nuance there (apparently).
“People are snobs on this side. Mountain snobs. They don’t look at geography fairly.”
Roy lived in South Korea for almost a year, teaching English. He says, “One of the biggest benefits I got was that – I love America. I left during the Bush years, and I was sort of… sagging on morale.”
“Once, while I was there, there was a woman, a tourist. And she was walking on the beach, and you get to this point where there’s a sign that says, ‘If you cross this point we will shoot you.’ And I guess she didn’t believe them cause she kept walking. So they shot her.”
You might think, dear reader, that this would be a good time to lighten the mood with a joke. Well, be careful what you wish for. Sunny goes to tell one of her favorite jokes.
“Two whales walk into a bar –“
Roy starts laughing.
“—wait, do you know this one?”
Long joke short, they both spend a combined one hundred forty-five seconds making whale noises, and they each have a different punch line.
The date is going swimmingly at this point, but the reporters have other engagements so we have to cut our part short. (Note: Those engagements may or may not have involved standing on a rickety barstool singing everything Tommy Makem & the Clancy brothers ever recorded, from memory. Just sayin’.) We separate the daters one last time to get their impressions.
Sunny is definitely enjoying herself.
“He’s cute and funny! It’s probably just the wine. We have a lot in common.”
Would she do it again?
“Oh yeah.” She may even ask him on a second date.
And Roy? He thinks they’ll probably stick around after we leave.
“She’s smart, and has a grasp of the universe, in terms of where she fits… I don’t know if that makes sense. What attracts me is she’s confident in who she is. She’s made me laugh and I’ve made her laugh… and the fact that she’s made me laugh is the important part.”
Before the reporters left, we made Sunny and Roy promise to contact us on one of two conditions: if there was any witty repartee that we weren’t there to record, or if they ended up having breakfast together. Roy turned to Sunny.
“Do you have a kitchen on your boat?” ◙
And now! What you’ve all been waiting for! The out-of-context quotes!
I really do want to be world famous, but I’m too lazy
I can’t reveal all my secrets
It’s convenient being single
I got tired of the douchey hipsters in Portland
It’s so Godfather-like
I wish someone was big enough to do that to me
Porcine – that would be pig
I tried to extend the Hand of Internet to the wider area
I used to find seven-inches of the Ink Spots
I had to wash the cat, wash the dog, wash my sheets…
They’re close enough to the snobs to get some real art
that’s my Mitt Romney face
what’s a ‘Santorum’?
I find myself very intelligent
The kind of antiquated donkey trash that would be carrying any North Korean nuke…
If you would like to be a Fortnightly Single, and have people write in to date you, tell us why and attach a pic and send it all to firstname.lastname@example.org!