It seems odd to not be answering a letter from a loyal reader, but I think it’s time I speak my mind. How about that weather? The weather is a great of example of what I want to talk about. Namely, going with the flow. Bending like a reed. Rolling with the punches.
These attitudes used to make me cringe as a child. I took it to mean not pushing against prevailing behavior/norms/attitudes, including bowing to peer pressure. Which means it was something I did the opposite of all the time.
Now as an adult, not necessarily a grown up, I see the importance of actually going with flow. It’s not something I do all the time but definitely recommend in doses. I am NOT a laid back person by any stretch of the imagination. However, with the state of affairs of lately, it has been a powerful tool in my arsenal. I worry about the weather, budgets (mine and the government’s), Republicans, women’s health care, my loved ones, my cat and too many other things to list here.
Here’s a great example of when I TRY* to apply it:
I’ve managed to arrange my day so that I start doing things that bring me happiness. I watch Phineas and Ferb, eat my breakfast and leisurely get myself to work. Suddenly my basement is flooded because a water pipe burst (this time) and I have a stressful morning trying to clean up the mess and get the pipe fixed. I get angry, possibly disappointed I am all out of sorts and stressed because I missed my routine. I take that with me and continue to have a bad day. The whole day is now ruined. Not the best way to handle things. But if we’re being honest with each other, most of us have problems like this, with things that upset how we like things, with groups who change what we are used to, with life when it doesn’t go the way we want it to go.
You can still try to salvage what’s left in your day, week, month or year. I think we all know this at some level. But realize you can’t control everything. The way we think and act and feel many times contradicts this basic truth. We don’t control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could, even when we wouldn’t want the responsibility.
Getting perspective always helps me. I get angry over something, and if I can’t shake it, I imagine I’m watching a movie and it zooms out. I see a much bigger piece of the puzzle that way. Mostly I realize what’s not worth getting upset about. Make your first attempts to go with the flow small ones: Focus on breathing. Get perspective after you breathe. Start in less stressful situations and work your way to harder ones. Just like when you learn any skill, you probably won’t be good at this at first. Skills come with practice.
Sometimes I think this stuff is a little sensitive and new agey for me. But I just read an article on how people are trying Special K to relive depression systems. Which is a depressing thought anyway. So it’s just my two cents. Do it don’t do it. The choice is yours. You can just go with the flow. ◙
* Hey nobody’s perfect. You gotta roll with the punches.
Send your personal questions for Auntie MacKenzie to olympiapowerandlight@gmail.com.