(Correlation & Causation)
When god, free will, and happenstance are busy, they call me: John Swamini**
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
You’re feeling very shy and reserved today, as if you heaped a big stinking turd on the world like that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai, and you’re awash in shame and sadness and should never show your face to the outside world again. And that is not true…unless it was you doing the heaping…
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
Are you stuck in your ways Pieces? Stuck like Dubai is stuck with that half-built abandoned building? Hopefully not, cause that is a lotta stuck. Keep your chin up.
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
You need to do all that you can to keep everyone around you happy. You’re the rock of Gibraltar and that is a thankless and lousy thing to be because as far as monuments go, that is one of the “Oh yeah, that one” monuments. At least you aren’t that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
Life is a breeze today and you’re at the top of your game. If you don’t use this opportunity to take down all that oppose you, then you’re no better than that halfbuilt, abandoned building in Dubai.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Tread lightly today, especially on that ice pond at Grandma’s house. Actually, don’t tread on that at all. Actually when was the last time you called Gram Gram and told her you loved her? Don’t treat Grammycakes like that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You’re full of ideas today and most of them don’t suck so it is time to put pen to paper, nose to grindstone, or you’re preferred metaphor and make something happen. There is no chance what you produce will be a half-built, abandoned building in Dubai.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Do not overextend yourself today Leo; you are capable but not on top of the world, which is where you would be if you climbed that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai, which you shouldn’t do today because that would count as overextending yourself.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Everything looks crazy-go-nuts today, even if you are drug free. Step 1) Step back. Step 2)There’s so much we can do. Step 3) Take a breath and clear your head. Step 4) I can give you more. Step 5) Stay away from that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Today you are a master juggler and you must, as they say, keep your eye on somewhere about 8 million balls. But you can do it! You can do anything! And that is exactly what those idiots that half built that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai thought. Stay home and don’t touch anything.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
I know it’s hard to set down the woowoo shovel Scorpio, but Farmer Fact and Cousin Reason implore you to do your best Joe Friday to get you through the day. Stay very grounded and keep your head
out of the clouds and don’t invest in a halfbuilt, abandoned building in Dubai.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
You’re a party animal today and you need to let those good vibes infect everyone around you, just like that half-built, abandoned building in Dubai infected the surrounding neighborhood with a huge inferiority complex and bankruptcy… but for you it will be a good thing.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Your inner voice has turned into an inner committee (and not the itty bitty kind) and everybody know, committees never accomplish anything except for blights like that halfbuilt, abandoned building in Dubai, so listen to your outside voice only, Capricorn!
* The opposite of brick and mortar.
** Experienced an awakening… this morning about 6AM.