(Correlation & Causation)
When god, free will, and happenstance are busy, they call me: John Swamini**
* A reliable delivery method for group think.
** The “should have” in a world of “could be’s”. Or maybe that is the beer and whimsy talking.
Aries: Are you oblivious to the obvious? You don’t have to click with their clique…
If you make certain you see that they’re there, one’s heart can be won. Dude.
Taurus: You are a diehard romantic Taurus. Some people might try to tell you that being this way equates to not being grounded with respect to matters of the heart, but we know better, right? You are just not completely fulfilled without that pipedream, that pedestal, and sometimes, that TRO are you? Ease back on the throttle this month, whadda ya say?
Gemini: It is both easy and difficult to get distracted when you are juggling 12 things. I have seen the circus and it is you.
Cancer: You have mythologized your past too much… you still have decades to go before you are eligible to join the “get off my lawn” crowd. In my day, we had patience when it came to turning into an old crank.
Leo: Sacrifice can be a truly noble and beautiful act that yields untold fortunes. Usually it is more akin to some poor schmoe getting the piss beaten out of them for like 3 months straight and then dying alone in the rain… or to a lesser extent being slightly inconvenienced like spending a whole afternoon at the DMV.
Virgo: Keeping perspective is important so you don’t turn out like the guy who wrote the Leo entry.
Libra: When you feel like the victim without actually being one… that is called taking responsibility for your stupid life choices.
Scorpio: One option is to settle down. You know where that will lead. The other is to settle up… pay your tab and get the hell out of there.
Capricorn: You can wait around to be scooped up by some randy wild child or you can do the scooping. This month, it is what we call “win-win”.
Aquarius: Lose your frustration via defenestration… throw caution through the window.
Pisces: The catch about falling for genius and eccentrics is that they stay that way after you peaked out and leveled off.