Date/Time: 1/27/2011, 17:26
Location: 100 Block Market St.
Incident: Sunset Over-Exposure
OPD Officers were called to Premiere Salon and Spa after two employees reported that a masturbating man interrupted their evening sunset gazing.
According to the report the man approached the witnesses by walking through the parking lot of the Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife, occasionally stopping and glancing their direction to see if they were looking at him. The suspect stopped advancing at about twenty feet from where the two women were standing, at which point one of the women said to the other, “I think his dick is out!”
Curious, the other woman turned to see for herself but stated that she could not see anything. When her coworker stated that the suspect’s unit was indeed in view she turned again and, “looked harder and sure enough, a small spot of white skin – definitely a penis – was in his hands.”
The suspect, described as in his early 20s, fled when the women told him they were going to call the police.
Employees at the salon reported that the man is often seen wandering the area around the Fish and Wildlife building, and that he has had two other exposure incidents with co-workers.
A subsequent area search by the two responding officers came up empty handed.
Date/Time: 2/6/2011, 0042
Location: 2700 Evergreen Parkway
Incident: Dehydrated Mushroom
While making a midnight walkthrough of The Evergreen State College housing area, campus police officers noticed a man sitting alone outside on the wet ground. When the student was asked if he was okay, he responded that he was “fine and was just a little dehydrated.”
Upon further questioning the subject “stated that he had ingested shrooms earlier in the evening,” and that “he had taken shrooms too many times to count and that his body was reacting differently than normal.”
The officers attempted to move the individual to a “warmer, (and) dryer atmosphere but (he) stated he didn’t think he could walk.” This created a concern for the subjects “health and safety,” and lead the officers to request an “aid unit.”
Medics soon arrived via Fire Engine 91 and conducted a check on the individual. They concluded that he was really high on shrooms, but in fact fine, and should just go back to his dorm room with a friend. Officers agreed and escorted the Tripping Billy back to his dorm room where his roommates agreed to “keep an eye on him through the night.”