Dear, We Need to Have a Chat


Can a best friend do that, and still be a best friend? 1/27/10

Dear Auntie MacKenzie,

I was seeing someone for awhile and he was great. Then he dropped me to go out with my best friend. They’ve been inseparable ever since and now she wants to be my friend again. I don’t want anything to do with her, but everyone else we hang out with tells me I should just “get over it”.

A.S., Olympia

Dear A.S.,

Firstly, you DO NOT have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to be. Life is too short.

Unfortunately, dating doesn’t equal fidelity. Dating should equal honesty about expectations of the relationship, but again it often does not. You said “best friend,” which indicates to me that she would have had some prior knowledge of how you felt. I don’t know all the details or timing, but friends dating people you’re interested in is shady.

There are a lot of fish in the sea, so to speak, so why your puddle?

As for your other friends, most people don’t want to rock the boat. You can still hang out with everyone and not be friends with the ex-best friend. You just need to be gracious so your other friends don’t feel uncomfortable.

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